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Monday, November 24, 2008

The Moral Paradox of Unclaimed Leftovers


Okay. It's the weekend and you're at home with your roommates. 
Hunger strikes.
You don't have any food because it's the end of the month, you're broke 
and you don't *ahem* CAN'T cook anything that requires more than 
boiling water or heating a saucepan.
Still, like the conditioned machine you are, 
you make your way to the kitchen
and open the refrigerator door.

Right away you see the delicious lasagna that has gone untouched
since one of your 'mates made it over a week ago.
You smell it...
it's still good!
And there's just enough left to assuage one hearty appetite.
You need it in your belly NOW

But you're no Hamburglar;
You wouldn't take someone's food without permission,
so you go to ask said roommate if she wouldn't mind you taking 
the last of the leftovers.

But hold the phone. 
Before you speak,
there's a dilemma:

If you ask to eat the leftovers, 
you will be reminding her of the yummy food she has neglected,
causing her to crave it for herself and, in all likelihood, deny your request 
(leaving your stomach empty and grumbling).
No bueno.
On the other hand, leaving them untouched would be a loss for all parties 
as forgotten leftovers always end up going bad and getting thrown out.
No bueno.

What to do?!

Well, behind door number three is the unethical, yet oh so satisfying alternative of eating the leftovers in secret, washing the incriminating evidence (tupperware), and retiring to your room before anyone knows the difference.

Ahhh, their ignorance is your carnal bliss.




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